Worship News

Time, Priorities, Relationships, and the Fire Within[1]

A sermon by Bob Clegg, at All Souls Waccamaw UU, January 6 2025

I’d like to start out  by asking you to make a reflex guess – don’t stop to do the math – just blurt out your guess of the answer to this question. Ready? Ok, here goes: How many weeks are there in the average human life? [Answers will vary.]… I guessed 10,000; some folks guess a million, some far less. But most people guess a lot more than – ready? 4,000 weeks – which is the actual answer (if the average human lives about 80 years).

4,000 weeks! Yes, the average human lifespan – that’s it. When you put it that way, 4,000 weeks – to me, at least – 4,000 weeks seems very short. Oliver Burkeman has written about this, in his book 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.[2] Burkeman reminds us that this number is “absurdly, terrifyingly, insultingly short.” And yet, that’s all the time we get.

How, then, should we live? What shall we do with our 4,000 weeks? Today, we reflect on this question through the lenses of time management, human connection, and the transformative ritual of Fire Communion.

Modern culture often treats time as a commodity to be mastered. We are inundated with time management hacks promising to help us fit more into our days. Burkeman points out the irony: the more efficient we become, the more work we generate for ourselves, like Sisyphus endlessly pushing his boulder uphill. How many know the myth of Sisyphus? It’s from Greek mythology: The lesser gods had a revolution, and they lost, so Old Zeus sentenced them to some really nasty eternal fates. One god, Sisyphus, was punished by having to push a big rock up a hill, but every time he almost gets it to the top, it slips and rolls back down again. Think about that the next time you are going in to work – or washing the dishes, or mowing the lawn, for that matter. In time management, the more effective we are, the more work other people will give us to do. The myth of ultimate efficiency becomes our prison.

But what if Sisyphus had stopped? Imagine him realizing one day that he wasn’t wearing shackles, except those he had created in his own mind – realizing that he had choices? That he had the freedom to set the boulder down, turn his back, and walk off into the sunset? That image is freeing. What Burkeman suggests runs counter to the cottage industry of self-help books on time management. What he’s saying is, that we should not try to do more. Rather we can give ourselves the gift of accepting the impossibility of doing everything. Rather than saying procrastination is bad, we can practice “good” procrastination, by prioritizing, and dropping everything that doesn’t rise to the top. We can choose wisely about what to procrastinate, and let go of the rest! Burkeman’s radical idea is for us to prioritize what truly matters—and “wisely procrastinate” the rest.

I don’t know about you, but procrastination has, to varying degrees, been a recurring theme in my life. I still have days that are better than others, but learning to focus on top priorities, and dropping the rest (for now), had made things noticeably better for me. Why do we struggle so much with prioritizing? Anne-Laure Le Cunff, on the in Ness Labs website, offers a scientific perspective in her article on procrastination.[3] She describes a tug-of-war between our limbic system, which governs emotions like fear and aversion, and our prefrontal cortex, responsible for planning and decision-making. When we procrastinate, our limbic system often wins. The solution? Cultivating practices that calm our emotions and strengthen our ability to focus.

For instance, mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or short meditation sessions can help quiet the limbic system. Similarly, breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps reduces emotional overwhelm, making it easier to engage our prefrontal cortex.

One way to practice “wise procrastination” is to create two lists: one for your current priorities and another for future tasks you might tackle someday. The future list is your “open” list – things you’re not going to start until you have room for them on your current list. The current list is your “closed” list – the things you’re going to work on right now, until they’re done. Burke suggests limiting the big projects on your closed list to three big projects. For example, my closed list for today and tomorrow has, “Contact 37 volunteers for SCUUJA; write the Impact grant proposal for ECHO; write and send out the order of service for Chief Hatcher’s visit.” In addition, I cheat, so I have a fourth bin for ongoing chores: practicing piano, working on my French drain in my back yard, taking my daily walk, and watching football playoffs with Connie. Limiting what I can put on my closed list creates a “fixed-volume” rule, and when someone asks me to do something that’s not important enough – in my estimation – to make room for on my “closed” list (for the time being), that fixed-volume rule justifies the answer, “No”. But by limiting the space in my closed list, I don’t get overwhelmed, and I focus my energy on what matters most right now while safely setting aside other goals.

Making these two lists, and living by them, has transformed my view of time management. It used to be a matter of, how can I be more efficient? Now, it’s, how can I be more effective. So I’ve moved from focusing on “efficient time management” to “effective time management, and that’s made a world of difference. The nice thing is, from the spiritual or religious perspective, being effective gives me more meaning than being efficient. I’m not just ticking off unrelated tasks that have become urgent. I’m focusing on projects that I deem meaningful and working on them until they’re complete.

Emily St. John Mandel has written a fascinating novel, called Station Eleven, about a traveling theater troupe that performs Shakespeare and plays classical music in a post-apocalyptic world.[4] Their motto – painted on the back end of the horse-drawn wagon at the front of their traveling road show – is, “Because survival is not enough.” [REPEAT] “Because survival is not enough.” Life is not merely about checking boxes on a to-do list; it’s about creating beauty, connection, and meaning. This resonates with the lives of Jimmy and Rosalind Carter, who after a presidency where it seemed nothing could go right, dedicated themselves to global challenges like disease eradication and homelessness through the Carter Foundation. Their work reminds us that effectiveness—doing the right things—is far more meaningful than efficiency.

When we think of time management at this time of year, we often do so in the context of New Year’s resolutions. Yet many of our resolutions fail because they are overly ambitious or vague. Writing this week in The New York Times, Lyna Bentahar offers a three-part remedy: (1) Make your resolutions measurable; (2) make them realistic; and (3) make them something you really want to do. For example:

• Instead of “Get in shape,” say, “Take a 20-minute walk three times a week.”
• Instead of “Read more,” say, “Finish one book a month.”
• Instead of “Be less distracted,” say, “Turn off phone notifications after 8 p.m.”

Whether these examples are thing you would want to do is a matter of your own personality, but do you hear the measurability, and the realistic-ness, in them? They all have numbers in them – how long, how many, what time. And they’re all doable – they’re not asking us to measure up to an impossible standard. By writing goals that are measurable and realistic, we set ourselves up for success. And if we aim for something we really want to do, we are more likely to stick with it – and to feel fulfilled when we’re done.

So, to sum up: As we manage the 4,000 weeks we have, it helps to move from a mindset of efficiency to one of effectiveness. Efficiency is about doing things quickly. Effectiveness is about doing the right things. Effectiveness requires us to:

• Let go of impossible standards.
• Accept our own talents, proclivities, limitations, and aversions.
• Develop a system that lets us know when our basket is full.

We’ve talked about keeping two to-do lists: one “open” for future ideas and one “closed” for immediate priorities. We’ve also talked about limiting yourself to three big projects at a time – along with a “current” bin for routine or ongoing tasks. Here are five additional ideas from Burke’s book that can help us focus on what truly matters, and at least lessen the burden of endless striving. I’m going to do them David Letterman style, not because the particular order matters – it doesn’t – but because it’s a little more fun this way. So, starting with #5:

5. Keep an additional list – a daily “done” list, to celebrate progress and let you know you’re on the right track.

4. Decrease technology’s pull: Make your devices less enticing by switching your phone to grayscale or setting app limits.

3. Practice mindfulness: Whether it’s meditation, walking, or playing an instrument, mindfulness strengthens our ability to focus on what matters.

2. Listen twice as much as you speak: This enriches relationships and opens paths to unexpected insights. Listening is not just efficient but profoundly effective.

1. Practice doing nothing: Unstructured rest allows the brain to generate new ideas and insights. A meditation teacher once said, “Don’t just do something. Sit there!”

Now, let us turn to the ritual of Fire Communion.[5] This Unitarian Universalist tradition invites us to reflect on the year past and the year ahead. It is a symbolic act of release and renewal. We write on flash paper either something we wish to let go of or something we wish to embrace. Then, we place the paper in the fire, transforming our intention into light and heat.

For example, you might choose to release:

• A draining habit or mindset.
• A negative relationship or situation.
• An unrealistic expectation.

Or you might choose to embrace:

• Gratitude for what you have.
• A commitment to self-care.
• A sense of connection with others.

Matt and I will demonstrate how this works. If you prefer not to burn your own paper, we are happy to assist. Pencils and flash paper will now be distributed. Take a moment to reflect on what you wish to release or embrace, then write on your flash paper what you wish to let go of, or what you wish to embrace. If you are joining us by Facebook Live, you may write on a small piece of paper, and when you are ready, place the papers into a bowl of water one at a time, watching the ripples as a sign of transformation and release.

As we move into this ritual, I leave you with these words from the poem[6] Matt read by Carrie Newcomer:

Perhaps the goal is not
to spend this day
power skiing atop an ocean
of multitasking.

Maybe the idea is
to swim slower
surer
dive deeper
and really look around.

Let us use our precious 4,000 weeks wisely. Let us prioritize what matters most. And let us trust that, even though “survival is not enough,” we can be sure that – the light within us is enough.